I really didn’t say much during the drive up there, probably weirded out my brother J,. We made the drive pretty quickly with the windows down, music blasting, heads banging and smoke trailing out behind the car. We hit traffic in Chicago on the way up to Milwaukee to picks up his girlfriend, D, but we still made good time. I didn’t say much, just did a lot of thinking about a lot of shit. My choice of music was depressing, I think he took the hint and just shut up after an hour or so. Just thinking about a lot of shit.
We left around noon the next day and headed to downtown Chicago for the wedding. J and D rode in the backseat, yes the backseat, douchebag, and were making out in my fucking rearview window the whole drive down. I love my brother, but he is an idiot, D is the first girl he has ever been with and she OWNS his ass. I must say though, when you can’t stop thinking about your girlfriend, or I guess at this point ex girlfriend, who hasn’t called or texted in a week, seeing them in the backseat made me want to choke them. Inconsiderate asshole, whatever I made him pay for the gas.
After the ceremony, J and I were standing outside the church when I my cousin Ott and the Bridesmaid came walking out. Ah, the Bridesmaid, I had not seen her since she was a bridesmaid at Ott’s wedding four years ago. This time she was just attending and after getting rid of my brother, we went for a cigarette behind the church.
See, at Ott’s wedding she was the bridesmaid who ended up getting really drunk and giving me head in her hotel room…when I was 18 years old. So I thought, “This shit is going to be awkward,” seeing as she is now 39 years old and just got divorced a few months ago. Honestly it was the exact opposite, we talked about my career plans…I bullshitted, and about both of us losing someone recently. The conversation was fluid, unforced and natural…she understood.
I crushed out the cigarette with the heel of my dress shoe and told her I would see her at the reception, she said I owe her a dance. I asked for what, she said, “For the last time one of your cousins got married,” I’m pretty sure I was blushing.
J, D and I went to Friday’s to get food and a few drinks before the reception. I ended up putting down a few long islands, fuckin $4.25…strong as shit…go to Friday’s, great deal, and having to have J drive to the reception. Needless to say, my drunken navigating got us lost but, eventually we found the place. We had a few glasses of bourbon with the parents and went down to the reception.
Walking in I found my place card and went to go put it on my table, lo and behold who did my Fer (bride) put at my table: the Bridesmaid. Now you might say that is only a coincidence, but you don’t know my family. The cousins are close and they, besides y’all, are the ones who get the most honest and sincere version of me. They know my problems and always do shit like this to cheer me up. In any case, I hit the bar, “Maker’s on the rocks and a vodka cranberry.”
I was smacked, dancing around the floor like a fucking idiot. I don’t dance, see, except for one type of event…weddings. After a while of pretending to catch people with fishing rods, stirring the imaginary pot and raising the roof I went out to smoke a cig outside. I listened to the message that mystery girl had left me and I left one in return. I think I rambled but I don’t remember. I sat out there for and while catching my breath, my fears caught up to me. It was like she was on a timer because the BM (not bowel movement fuckheads) came out and sat next to me. “What are you thinking about,” she asked. “All kinds of shit.” She asked if it was scary and I told her it was. She said that it was scarier when you are older and that I still had time to figure it out. I was young, she said, she was not so lucky. She started crying. It was one thirty in the morning. “Do you want to come up to my room, P?” “I would love to.”
We talked for a while, lying on opposite beds, until she came and sat next to me…I put my arm around her. She had told me a lot of things, things I can’t remember now because I was so drunk, but I know the feeling she left in me. That I can remember clearly, I can feel it right now. Whatever she said, she convinced me to hold my head up and play the hand dealt to me. We were way too drunk to fuck; I just laid there holding her until she passed out.
I woke up Sunday morning to a mother fucking headache and wiped the drool off her left breast, grazing her nipple. She woke up slowly and rolled on to her side to face me. I stared into her eyes and leaned in to kiss her. It was like waking up next to each other was the most natural thing in the world, like we had been doing it for years. We saw, in the other’s eyes, the person who we had lost and needed to see one last time. I rolled her over onto her back and climbed on top of her, rubbing my dripping cock against the entrance of her pussy. I looked down and stared into her eyes, moving in for a kiss as I gently pushed my way into her. Her lips parted, but nothing audible escaped from her mouth, as if she was moaning in a frequency only she could pick up. I closed my eyes and drew my breath as I thrust my way fully inside her, lifting myself up with my arms.
I grabbed her legs and spread them until I heard her hip pop, penetrating as deep as my body would allow. I started to slowly thrust, still no sound coming from between her lips. It was as if we had been lovers for years, despite the fact hat I was only now becoming acquainted with her body. My thrusting picked up pace and she finally began to moan ever so softly. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and I felt her pussy clamp around me, squeezing and sucking my cock. I felt her legs start to shake and she grabbed the pillow behind her head, suddenly letting out a loud cry of relief. I put my mouth to her nipple and sucked away as I pounded into her, completely lost in the sensation of her body. I felt myself start to go. Her lips locked with mine and I pulled out, splashing cum into puddles under her breasts. The power of my orgasm had my ass clenching and my toes tingling. It was all the pent up energy and frustration being released onto her chest. Not only was it a powerful physical release, but one of a mental nature as well. I fell down into her chest, completely relieved. We laid there for a minute in our juices, before getting into the shower and going down for breakfast.
When we walked into the hotel lobby, all three of my cousins as well as my parents and one aunt were sitting down having breakfast. The BM and I, with that just fucked look and smell about us got some food and sat down. After we ate some cereal and talked for a second she got up to go talk to Fer about her honeymoon. My dad came over and sat down at my table. “You don’t look nearly as rattled as ya did last night,” he said in his fading Irish accent, “I knocked on yer door this morning but ya didn’t answer; now I know why.” “As long as your mother doesn’t discover your secret, I think we’ll be fine, I hope you feel better.” I told him I felt a lot better but that this conversation was fucking awkward. I laughed to myself as he walked away.
When BM and I went back to her room to get my suit, we ended up naked on the bead again, my face pressed between her thighs. I fucked her again, slowly this time, paying attention to every nuance of her sensitive body. She swallowed my cock and I let go in her mouth, leaving her licking her lips and grinning.
We packed our cars and I pounded her one more time (I think we both came to the conclusion that we might be experiencing some unwanted celibacy in the near future) before getting ready to go. She walked up to my window, leaned in to kiss me and dropped a piece of paper on my lap. “You know, you have grown up a lot since the last time I saw you, call me if you are ever in Minneapolis, or…if you just need a friend. Goodbye, P.” I pulled away, J and D giving me pats on the back and such. I felt like I had lifted a weight off of my shoulders.
I had much more to say on the drive back, but after I dropped J and D off I lit a blunt and thought about my current state of affairs. I was feeling so much better than I had in the past few weeks. I had gotten off and gotten my head straightened out. I thought about the BM, about mystery girl and about Meg, and I came to the conclusion that I don’t care if she moves on. I listened to mystery girl’s message one more time as I pulled into the driveway of my building.
You see, Meg, I am moving on, just like you. When I landed the New York account today I didn’t have the urge to call you and tell you like I used to. See I don’t care if you call, I am moving on. I emailed some friends and told them the good news and the boss bought me lunch. As I sat there drinking my bourbon and eating the steak he bought me, I realized…I kind of like being on my own. So you see, Meg, I don’t need you anymore, I have good friends and a strong will to survive. In short, my dear, I am moving on.