Friday, October 21, 2011

The Blue Notebook: Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

I must have been wasted last night but I guess I wonder why I think that my problems are anymore unique than any other fucker's.  I whine a lot, but I don't know if I am really sad like other people.  I am just lonely.  Sure I could have stayed Lauren but I lied to her enough.  I just really don't know what to write, or what to do with myself.
I want to see Amanda but I know it is exactly the last thing I need.  I do give thanks for some damn good friends.  Without Dan and Annie and Sarah and so on I wouldn't probably be able to function.  I only wonder why they put up with my shit so much.  I guess I don't exactly know what's wrong with me.  I feel insignificant and it hurts.  A lot.  

Like I said, I know something is wrong with me, I just need someone to hold me.  I mean is that really so much to ask?  Just someone who will say, "Yeah I feel like that too," and actually mean it.  I just don't know what to write.

11:41 AM 5/22/05

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