It seems like, nevermind that's not how I wanted to start this. Why the hell do I lie? To my friends, strangers, parents, classmates. I am really concerned w/ what other people think of me. I have been telling friends that a girl lied to me (funny eh?) and told me she was pregnant. I even told Annie. I know she loves me. So therefore I have come to the conclusion that I am mental.
I don't understand why I do this. I have lost so many friends over this, people still hate me for it. It would make sense for me to lie if I had a reason, but this is ridiculous. My biggest flaw is that it drives me up the wall when others (who shouldn't matter) think I'm not cool. Seriously who gives a shit? Me I guess.
I'm really not as great as I think, my well formulated opinions on world affairs just piss people off. But I believe in them. Suicide crosses my mind and awful lot these days. I don't have the guts to do it though. I hope I don't die soon, cause I'm a fucking hypocrite.
12:57 AM 5/17/05
I really love meeting new people and then starting to hang out w/ them routinely. They don't know about what I have been in my past.
12:21 AM 5/18/05