This Morning

Read the below post first please.

Damage control starts early in the morning when I wake up and puke off the side of my bed. My stomach feels like someone stuck a knife in it and twisted and I have heartburn so bad I could choke. I have a fat lip and my head hurts...what did I do? Not again....no...not again. What did I do?

Call log suggests that I went to Maria's and reading what I wrote last night confirms my suspicions. I guess I know where I got the fat lip from. My emails tell me that I was acting like an ass to a friend of mine as well...my friend, I'm sorry. Welcome to another morning of damage control.

They don't even ask what's wrong with me at work anymore. The one day when I yelled, "Nothing is wrong I just fucking hate my life," I think they got the point. I sit here, smelling like liquor and cigarettes, wondering how the fuck to apologize to everyone EZ got to talking with last night. I hate doing this shit, the list is seven people long. Seven people I care about that I get to apologize to this morning because of my drinking and my complaining. I fucking hate doing this.

So, the cat's out of the bag now, I'm not alright with being left. I am sorry I lied and told you I was ok with it. Honestly I wasn't lying to you, I was lying to myself...trying to fend off the demons in my head. Trying to convince myself that everything is going to be ok and I'm sorry so say I just don't believe it anymore. Yeah, so I want to say to everyone out there in my whole life who I piss off, hurt and scare with my irrational bahavior...I'm sorry. I love you people, whoever you may be.

You're the life of the party everybodys host
Still you need somewhere you can hide
All your good time friends
And your fairwell to has-beens
Lord knows, just along for the ride

You think your a survivor
But boy, you better think twice
No one rides for nothin'
So, step up and pay the price

It's the high cost of low livin'
Ain't it high time you turn your self around
It's the high cost of low livin'
It's bound to put you six feet in the ground

So many here who love ya;
And still, you just can't tell
The real ones from those who drop your name
All the while behind your back
They lift the flesh right from your bones
You should know by now through all their game

Been chasing each dream with whiskey
From here to Tokyo
Using up all your real friends,
And no place left to go

It's the high cost of low livin'
Ain't it high time you turn your self around
It's the high cost of low livin'
It's bound to put you six feet in the ground

Dont look behind you
Ahh dont look back
Don't turn to find reason in the past
The past is gone Gone at last

It's the high cost of low livin'
Ain't it high time you turn your self around
It's the high cost of low livin'
It's bound to put you six feet in the ground

"The High Cost of Low Living" Greg Allman