Wednesday, August 20, 2008

On Cold Calling

Now I might have mentioned before how I work at a trucking company and that I serve a few different purposes here: mechanic, salesman, operations and the occasional local delivery (yes I know the thought of me at the wheel of a 53' semi is frightening, just be glad you don't live here). As of late I have been wearing the sales hat a lot, we are losing money and I have been unofficially charged with saving this company...tall fucking order, huh?

In any case, how do you make money for your business? The answer: cold calls. Here's one of my more humorous experiences calling on prospects from this morning.

P: Hi this is P with ________ Trucking in ­­­________, may I please speak to your traffic manager or person of the similar position

Stupid: (laughing condescendingly) Sir, eh, we don’t have a traffic manager.

P: Is this ______ Paper Co?

Stupid Ass: (continuing to laugh) This, sir, is not a paper company, we make septic tanks and we certainly don’t have a traffic manager or a desire to have telemarketers calling.

Now at this point I decide that I have had enough of her fucking snide little laughs and nose in the air attitude.

P: Listen I’m just doing my job lady, see…don’t make sales…don’t have job, see how it works?

Dumbfuck: Well I personally hate telemark—

P: --Lady, I’m not a telemarketer I’m a salesman, am I asking you to change your phone service or calling you at dinner or during your TV time? No, I’m not and quite frankly there is no freaking reason to be rude.

Dildo: Same thing.

P: I don’t have time for this shit…have a nice fucking day lady.


My sales manager turned to me after that call and said, “You tore that bitch a new one, huh?” Sometimes this job isn’t all bad.

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