Thursday, August 21, 2008

On Taking Inventory Of What Matters

There comes a time in a man’s life when he needs to take inventory of what is real and what is merely an illusion. Sometimes you just know where you stand with certain people or, rather, how you stand with them. After you take a shot to your pride, it really prompts you to think about who really matters and who’s just along for the ride. When a group of guys sit in front of you and tell you they are sorry, you must beware, not all of them mean what they say. The question I ask myself is, “Would he die for me?” That’s a serious question, not one to be taken lightly. I thought long and hard about that question and it only led me to meaningless speculation. I decided that I was asking the wrong question, I needed to be asking myself something different.

Who would I die for?

It’s the only way to know who truly matters, the only way I can possibly be sure. If I were to ask all of my friends if they would die for me, they would most likely lie and say yes, but those types of answers don’t help me. When you are trying to take stock of who really matters you can only deal in honesty, no matter how little information it leaves you with. No matter if you have to do all the decision making on your own assumptions, the choice is too important to leave to lies or chance. I’m cleaning out my closet here, throwing away all the clutter and bullshit that is holding me back.

I’m sitting here thinking about who I would jump in front of a pistol for, or who I would push out of the way of an oncoming car. Who would I lay down my life for? No ordinary person is going to get me killed, no way. I have seen a few people die in my time, enough to know it isn’t really high on my list of things to do at this juncture, but I know if the time came it would be a split second choice. Yes or No?

Think about that really hard, for whom would you take that bullet? Don’t think about your family, friends or your legacy; just ask the question. Is this person worth my life? You can’t go back, the only thing you have left now is the piece of your soul that you gave to this person, and know that they are now your legacy. Are they worth it?

I’m taking stock and going through the inventory today, going to clean out all the bullshit. I am going to figure out the friends from the snakes and the wolves in sheep’s clothing. No more betrayal, no more Trojan horse and no more facades. Its time to take inventory…

It's like...Yo, there ain't too many people I would die for
That I would lay down for, you heard...
It's like my family, my closest friends that's here in my circle
My moms and 'em, my babies, man
That's word to mother, son, that's what it is...
(I'll die for you, I'll die for you)
Uh-huh...That's right, man
(I'll die for you)
Just some real shit...

Aiyo, I'll die for the prophets and I'll die for the Lord
On the battlefield, wounded badly, holding a sword
With no questions asked, I already know, it's all for the cause
Just laying me facing the East, when I'm under the floor
I might've sinned in the process, from being, in the projects
Eyes swept from all the anger, that could've fucked with my conscience
And more or less, I'm a man of my word
My body is holding a couple scars on it, though I was never a bird

For Martin Luther and my brother Malcolm (I'll die for you)
And my ancestors picking cotton (I'll die for you)
My close homies that get it popping (I'll die for you)
You what time it is, nigga what?

Aiyo, I'd die for my moms, and I'd die for my kids
If you, really my Queen, then I'd die for my whiz
Even my mans, if we that tight
Jump in front of a biscuit, snuff money with all of my mics
Or we can brawl it out and take his life
By taking his gun, no problem
Just make sure we eating when we on the run
Like slaves that's chained together, who've killed master
The dogs is coming, the pigs is gon' blast ya
I'd die for you, I'd die for my brother
Die for the babies who can't eat with bare feet who need they mother
I put niggaz lights out like Con Ed, my verbal is barn
My bread'll blow you, show you who's real with the arms

Do you want revenge on that devil Satan? (I'll die for you)
We could do it now instead of waiting (I'll die for you)
We don't have to wait for revelations (I'll die for you)
We'll sort this out in other conversations

Yo, I'd never jump out the window, lose my life for a lame ass nigga
That scene is bogus, it's not in the picture
You just can't feed me anything like "Yo, Tone it's beef"
Expect me to go all out, jump in and bust my heat
First off, drunk, you not my peeps
Yeah, I know you, we from the same town and shit, but we ain't that deep
We never stuck nothing, oxed something, ran together, popped something
I thought ya team was Wolves, cocksucker, stop fronting
You barking like you got the town in a smash
I'd never lay down for you, faggot nigga, you ass

Watch them niggaz that be yelling that (I'll die for you)
When they broke you be heating that (I'll die for you)
Just stick 'em for they packs, they be crying (I'll die for you)
And just bitch mothafuckas burn...

"I'll Die For You" by Ghostface Killah

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