Wednesday, August 06, 2008

And So It Burns...

"The larger gauge of a Camel Wides cigarette makes for the smoothest most flavorful way to enjoy Camel's distinctive blend of the finest Turkish and Domestic tobaccos."

Yeah, and it also leaves a huge fucking burn too.

Normally I burn myself when I'm drunk, but this time I was totally sober. I leave this scar on my arm as a reminder of my mistakes, the people who have hurt me but most importantly the people who I have misled and betrayed.

I do not yet understand what this one means to me, I'm only beginning to get an idea. This one is so much more important than the other times. So much more pain behind this one. Scars are my tattoos and they are self inflicted. I love them but I cry when I look at them.

When you throw a rock at a window common sense tells you that it will break, but here I sit throwing stones and expecting the opposite. Wounded animals are dangerous. If I didn't have my friends I would have gone swinging from my ceiling fan long ago. They help me pick up the pieces and keep me on the path I need to be on, but when I betray them I feel like trash.

So, my friend, this is directed straight at you.

I am sorry I betrayed you.

Edit: Fuck it all.

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