Friday, September 05, 2008

Don't Say I Didn't Warn You

When you issue a challenge to certain people, you can pretty much expect them to fail. They have weak bodies, minds and most importantly; weak spirits. The one thing they do possess is a big mouth and a whole lot of shit to spew out of it. They talk big, act big and walk big, but when shit hits the fan they are out like a cockroach when the light comes on. Weak, pathetic flakes will talk big and cop out when the going gets tough.

When they are stared in the face by adversity, they wave the white flag.

I wave the black flag.

Surrender is not in my vocabulary and backing down is not my forte. A few years ago I was at a music festival in Milwaukee called Summerfest; I was walking out drunk and alone in a crowd of 80,000 people. I was smoking my last cigarette when a guy asked me if I had another, I told him no but for some reason he kept asking and asking. Eventually, quite fed up and drunk on bourbon, I said, “Yeah I have a cigarette, I’m just not gonna give it to your stupid ass.” He took a swing, which I avoided like I was in the fucking Matrix and I came back with a right that about knocked him off his feet. He took off to catch back up with his mates and I went on gleefully walking out like nothing ever happened. When he came back he was not alone, the fists from the three of them rained down on me like a flood. I remember hearing the wet packing sound as they smashed the bones on the right side of my face and I vividly remember spitting out my teeth. I did not fall down and I did not cry, in fact the reason they eventually left me was my hysterical laughter and taunts of, “C’mon, it feels SO good…more more MORE!” Now obviously it didn’t feel good, but I wasn’t fucking backing down from these cowards. Eventually I heard them say, “Fuck this douchebag, he’s nuts,” I spit blood at them as they walked away, which got me one more good one to the face, knocking me down to the ground…laughing hysterically. The people in the crowd around me just stared. In the end I had a skull fracture, a broken in half cheek bone (and now some fancy titanium holding it together), four missing teeth and eight fractures in my eye socket…I also discovered that I love pain and I love to push the limits. I don’t back down.

So think first before you decide to pick on the seemingly harmless smaller guy you see, because I am one horrible cunt and I pack a punch like a damn jackhammer.

When you get more than you bargained for…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When your friends can’t believe you got beat by someone my size…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When you can’t open your eyes in the morning…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When you can’t believe how fast I snapped…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When you have to explain your face at your job…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When you see me and get scared…don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Now you might call me stupid and you might call me crazy, but the one thing you will never call me is a coward. I will always step up to the plate and I will always rise to the challenge, even if it kills me. At first it stemmed from a fear of being called a pussy, I was afraid that people would call me weak. Once I got a little older I stopped caring about what people thought of me, but the reason I kept my “no surrender” mindset is because I see how pathetic the cowards and quitters are and I will not become one.

Let’s take this conversation to the bedroom (or bathroom, kitchen, floor, car etc wherever we happen to be fucking). Now, I am about 5’9” and a half (with shoes on make it 10 even) and I weigh about 140 lbs, I haven’t grown in 4 years but there is no fat on my body. The reason I say this is because I am small but I am strong and I am very tenacious. Issue me a challenge when I am between your legs and I will go after it with everything I have, even if it breaks me. “No one has ever made me cum going down on me before,” you say, but all I hear is, “You are about to be the first man to make me cum by going down on me.” Tell me I can’t keep up with your insatiability and I will fuck you until my dick falls off. Push me, tease me, push my buttons and fuck with my head all you want, but listen really closely, bitch, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

When you go home walking bowlegged…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When you have no idea how to hide the teeth marks, handprints and bruises…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When your nipples ache from my twisting…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When your pussy is raw and tender… don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When the next man you fuck doesn’t satisfy… don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When you think about me as he fucks away… don’t say I didn’t warn you.

You pushed and pushed until you thought I would give in, you should know me better than that. You got what you asked for; you got a dose of something mean, something tenacious and something you thought you understood. You had no idea who you were fucking with until he was actually fucking you. I don’t back down and I don’t cop out, you wanted your pussy dominated and that’s what you got…bitch.

Now there is one more thing from which I will never back down, possibly the most important thing. Make sure you know what you are in store for when you go after my heart. I’m warning you, my love is not something given lightly and it comes at a high price. If you challenge me to love you, I will not shy away…I will step to grasp the gauntlet you have thrown before me. When I give my heart I do it with every ounce of myself, I don’t do anything half assed…certainly not love. This is why I get hurt, when I give my love to you, I give it all. I will not back down from my feelings and I will not pull my punches, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I will not hold back my emotion for fear that it will be laughed at or taken for granted, I will not be intimidated. When you tell me you love me, I know you mean it but you had better believe that I do too. I give all I have when it comes to the way I feel about you so don’t be scared and don’t act surprised. You know me better than that.

When you lie awake thinking about me…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When you reach for me when you wake up…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When you need my voice to tell you goodnight…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When you tell me things you have never said before…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When you want me to be yours alone…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When you fall in love with me…don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Look, the point I’m making here is that I am no flake and when I do something, I do it right and I give it my all. Whether it be fighting, fucking or falling in love; when I do something, I give everything I have to give. You will never catch me waving the white flag of surrender. You will never catch me backing down. You will never catch me running away because I will stand my ground and I will stare the enemy straight in his eyes. This is me, and I am what I am. My drunken Irish immigrant father gave me his stubbornness and his temper and my Kentucky farm girl mother gave me her work ethic and strong will, I have put them to good use. They never taught me how to give up and I got beaten when I tried to surrender, they bred and raised me to be one tough mother fucker.

So when you make the decision, be it to fight, fuck or fall for me, make sure you know what you are doing and make sure you know who you’re dealing with. I will never wave the white flag and I will never surrender. So if you find you’ve bitten off more than you can chew…don’t say I didn’t warn you.

But you’re tough, you can handle it. That’s why I like you.

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