Tuesday, September 23, 2008


It’s been lurking below the surface for some time now. A thought so often pushed into the dark. One not allowed to come up for air with its implications in tow. It is only now becoming blatantly obvious, only now does it show its true nature.

I have been growing frustrated with it for some time; it was not an unexpected occurrence. I struggle to find meaning in the impersonal encounters I have throughout the day. Friends I don’t want to call, parents I don’t want to talk to, girls I don’t want to fuck. I feel as if withdrawal from this space is imminent.

I have no career, only a job. I have few friends, mostly acquaintances. I have no ties to this ground. Money prevents it but my mind fuels it. I have never been satisfied in this space. There has always been something lingering in the dark at night, whispering. Denial is so much easier, it requires no effort. Change on the other hand…change takes will.

The sun will soon set for me and I will hit the highway, cool wind in my face, in search of a new life. My eyes do not dampen at the thought of leaving this place as they did the first time I left home. This time they know that the ones who matter will never fade away, no matter the distance.

I will never speak poorly of this city for it has been my home for five years. I have had five years of pain, fun, love, hate, fear and triumph in this city and it has made me a man. I have come to call this place home and it will always have a place in my heart but…the stone must roll on.

I left Milwaukee looking for a clean slate, somewhere people didn’t know who I was or what sins I had committed. I was ready for change but I knew I needed a new venue, for some reason I chose Cincinnati. I remember staring out at the skyline over the river from the bluffs and thinking that I could call this place home, and I have. But the time will soon be upon me; I will feel the wind at my back. Soon the road will call to me.

I don’t know where this wind will carry me, I don’t care. I will let it take me and I will not question. Someday, Cincinnati, I will leave you behind and I will call another my home but…

…I will always love you.

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