The text I got at 11:58 last night said, “9 days!”
If I was not asleep I would have responded with, “In two minutes, dumbass.”
In any case we are down to single digits here…again. This time she comes here, requiring me to clean, launder (clothing not money) and buy things to put in my refrigerator so I don’t look quite so poor. Friends will all be out of town for the Thanksgiving holiday so no worries about drunken rednecks telling her even more embarrassing stories about me. She gets in at 12:30 or so and I’ll be ready to pick her up and spend the afternoon together. So all in all we are good, right?
OF COURSE NOT, DIPSHIT.
Coworker 1: Just so you guys know, ________ is shipping on Black Friday.
Me: Your point?
Coworker 2: shaking head
Me: YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING JOKING ME!
Coworker 1: Nope, we are working Black Friday.
Me: I hate my fucking life.
I swear to God nothing can ever be easy for me, can it?