What the Hell?

So I met this girl today when I was out with my friend Dave watching football.  She was crude, vulgar and telling dirty jokes...needless to say I was smitten.  That's the fucking trouble though, isn't it?  I have gone and made this little promise to myself that I wouldn't get into any kind of relationship.  The thing is, I hung out this girl for the better part of three hours.  Three fucking hours, that's it.  It wasn't like I've known her for months or anything. 

What the hell?

I guess this is what my return to being single holds for me, falling for every girl who so much as bats an eyelash at me.  I'm thinking I might be better off putting saltpeter in my eggs because this is ridiculous.  When I got home I fucking looked up the makeup place she owns and found a picture of her.  Now that shit is just creepy and not something I've ever done before.  I was honestly kind of disgusted with myself.  Am I really back to this high school type bullshit?

Then I have the other side of this new little adventure I am unwittingly going on.  That would be the "I can't stop thinking about the girl who broke my heart" side.  I am getting sick of pining for her every fucking night.  A few days ago my dad could see it was getting to me and told me something his dad told him a long time ago, "best way to get over one is to get under another."  I had to laugh, not just because he said it but because that very concept has been seriously fucking with my head.  I know that old adage works to an extent, I know it because I have done it before...a few times.  I also know that it could wind up throwing me right back down on my face.  I sure as hell need to learn how to be single and to be comfortable with myself but I sure as hell miss having someone. 

I am one co-dependent son of a bitch, aren't I?  What the hell?  I can't believe I'm actually writing this, much less going to post it.  It's like I'm sixteen all over again.